Questions

For several years I have been one of many who answer questions on Everystudent.com. It can be a challenge to give thoughtful, prayerful answers to people's honest and heartfelt questions. But it is a privilege and opportunity to guide students and others to God's word and into a relationship with Him.

I thought I'd share a question I recently received and answered. This comes from a gal I'll call "Terry" (that's not her real name).

Can God send people to hell who do have premarital sex? I believe in God although I do not go to church, I believe in him and that he has plans for his children. We all sin but is premarital sex one of the worst type of sinning aside from murder and suicide? Can I be sent to hell for having premarital sex? And is there an exception for premarital sex if I am only having it with one person, we use protection, and we are sure we are clear from STDs? We are 100% sure that we are going to be together for the rest of our lives and we plan to get married. Is it wrong that we are having sex and if so can God send us to Hell because of this? Can we be forgiven even though we still commit this sin?


Dear Terry,
Thanks for asking your question. It seems like you want to do the right thing and you are struggling a bit with something you might be feeling guilty about.

Here’s the bottom line...all people have sinned and are separated from God. There are no distinguishing levels of sin. We all sin. We all miss the mark of perfection. Sometimes we like to let ourselves off the hook by comparing our poor behavior or thinking with someone else who has carried out worse actions. But that doesn’t really help. Even the best, nicest person in the world has sinned. With that in mind, we would all go to hell. Sounds like bad news, doesn’t it?

But the really good news is that God provided us with the way to not go to hell. John 3:16 says, “God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” This is the only way to avoid hell. This is the only cure to being separated from God. Jesus came to earth and died as the payment for our sin so that we would not have to go to hell and be separated from God for eternity.

So, the answer to your question: “Can God send people to hell who have premarital sex?” is, yes. But, He has also provided a way to forgive you of this sin through Jesus. Each of us needs to decide what to do with this provision. Are we going to accept the gift of forgiveness by acknowledging our sin and trusting Jesus to forgive us? Or are we going to reject this gift? The only way to truly go to hell is to reject the gift of forgiveness.

Ok, so does this mean if I ask Jesus to forgive my sin I can just go on sinning? Well, here’s the thing about God. Relationship is very important to Him. He knows when we are sincere and when we are just trying to cover our bases. If we sincerely want to be forgiven then God sincerely wants us to grow in our relationship with Him.

Once we receive the gift of his forgiveness, He wants to give us even more. He wants to help us grow and have a good life. He has designed boundaries which are for our good. When we work within those boundaries, life works better because it’s the way He designed it. It doesn’t mean we will be perfect, but it does mean we will try to learn more about God and his ways. God’s design for sex is to be within the boundaries of marriage. He has good reasons for this. Life just works better for all concerned when we follow his design.

So, perhaps you might want to ask yourself a few of questions:
Do I want to accept the provision of God’s forgiveness?
Do I want a relationship with God?
Why can’t I wait until we get married for sex?
Do I love my boyfriend enough to wait to have sex from now on until we are married?
Does my boyfriend love me enough to wait?

And if you are ready to begin a relationship with God…here’s how: Knowing God Personally

Let me know what you think Terry.

Sincerely,
Tina

I never heard back from "Terry". Sometimes after answering questions, I often wonder...was I sensitive enough? Direct enough? Did I say too much? Say too little? Did I lead her to Jesus? Second guessing myself doesn't accomplish much. But I do pray that I continue to listen to the heart of God as I answer questions like these.